With so much bad news out there, I’ve decided to focus on the positive in today’s post. In these difficult, uncertain, and tragic times, we’re starved for something good. Here’s my list:
Family Time
As we are plowing through Week Two of distance learning, I can reflect on the chaotic, stressful and exhausting Week One and see that there were some unexpected highlights. The biggest one was the increase in family time. I know it’s a constant in parent commiserating and rich in comedy material, but thankfully it is feeling more as a gift than a burden. A few bits of advice I received while pregnant with my first child have proven the test of time: (1) the most important thing in a household is love – if there’s enough of that, you can get through anything together; (2) don’t think you’re the worst parent on a bad day … or the best parent on a good day: whatever the situation is, it will change; and (3) there are a million ways to parent a child and not “ruin” them (kids are resilient, see number 1).
The jury is out on whether all this together time will make my kids more clingy and needy when things get back to some kind of normal. For now it feels like the additional time together is filling them up. They are enjoying the newfound time and freedom – within the confines of our house and yard – which is making them noticably more willing to comply with some requests that after a busy and stressful day at school they were loathe to do. Now the structured school time is limited to about two hours a day which means that when the weather is good, they can enjoy a long midday break and shift the school work to the late afternoon. On rainy days, they can still go outside for a walk in the rain or scooter around the carport. Things they don’t get to do when they are in school. One of the best aspects of this modified schedule for my self-directed fourth grader is freedom to work through the bulk of his weekly classwork – provided in a helpful grid by his teacher – in an order, timing and intensity of his choice.
The teachers are getting more organized and providing daily lists of activities with all of the information in one document. There is less of the flurry of emails with bits and pieces of information that parents have to stitch together to figure out what is expected of each student. It’s still a heavy load, especially for the work for the kindergarteners for whom everything needs to be explained and supervised. But, we are all getting the hang of it and more comfortable with the technology of Google Meet, Google Classroom, Hangouts, and a slew of educational programs like Zearn, Starfall, Typing Club, Reading A-Z, Lexia, and others that parents were previously free to consider optional after-school add-ons to school-based learning. Now, they are core curriculum. Knowing how to turn on and off the microphone and video feed, and logging in with a variety of passwords are becoming second nature to my six year olds. Their 30 minute daily screentime limit is a distant memory, but so far they don’t see much worse for it.
I would be remiss in not adding the sibling bonding that is building daily – mostly the good kind. Yes, there are flashes of the crazy days of twin mania that mostly ended when they went into separate pre-K classrooms. And, one child can quickly become the outcast or “third wheel” during playtime. Yet, overall, an abundance of togetherness is not causing too many problems. My kids are different enough to avoid much toxic competition … and we are lucky to have enough inside and outside space so each of them can do their own thing when they need to do so.
Outside our little #StayHome world, here are some other good things:
The Earth Responds
Although some of the reports like the one about dolphins appearing in the notoriously polluted Venice canals are not quite true, the shutdown of a large portion of human activity has resulted in a reduction in harmful carbon emissions and reduced air pollution. For our earth and anyone who has respiratory problems, this is a good thing. It may be temporary, but hopefully we can learn some ways to continue a smaller carbon footprint after this crisis subsides.
Acts of Kindness
So many examples of everyday people being helpful in small but meaningful ways – shopping for an elderly or immuno-compromised neighbor, offering free tutoring online to students struggling with distance learning, checking in with those who are alone or isolated, sewing facemasks for medical personnel. Artists are making daily contributions such as Mo Willem’s lunchtime doodle for schoolkids and Patrick Stewart’s reading of Shakespeare sonnets. And individuals and companies are making their catalogs of online materials available for free.
All in this Together
Despite the lack of federal leadership, local and state governments as well as communities and groups of individuals are trying to fill the void by working together on critical issues. Clothing designers are making face-masks and providing how-to videos. Distilleries are making hand sanitizer. Retired doctors and other medical personnel are taking shifts to relieve staff at medical facilities overwhelmed with coronavirus patients. Private companies are procuring medical equipment to donate hospitals. Technology experts are setting up an app to match supply and demand of needed equipment. Organizations are setting up funds for artists, caregivers, restaurant workers and others hard who often live paycheck to paycheck and are especially made vulnerable by stay at home orders.
Showing Gratitude
There are so many heros in this struggle to contain the pandemic – and there are many ways to give thanks. #StayHome, share critical resources, and show gratitude every day.